(April 17, 2008) Howdy. Things are settling down and the blog is set to go back online in the next few weeks. How about new strips? Well, I believe that will happen too in time. The whole thing needs a re-tooling, methinks.
(Jan 8th 2008) Happy Frikkin New Year. Are you still alive? Yeah, me too. I found out a few weeks ago that South Africa’s biggest reggae star Lucky Dube was killed in some crazy carjacking thing. He wasn’t very old, early 40’s maybe. When I was with Orangutango, we opened up for Lucky Dube in Austin at Liberty Lunch around 1992. Understand of course that this guy filled football (soccer) stadiums with 70,000 in most of Africa, and filled indoor arenas in most of Europe. Here in Americay he toured with the same group of 20 or so musicians and singers in elaborate African dress, but they were crammed into small and medium clubs like Liberty Lunch, holding only a few hundred.
There is so much to say, so much happening, yet just no time or brain cells left at the end of the day to say it. But due to recent developments, this will change soon. Baby steps man, baby steps. Not just the ones that have been all over our house, either. Max is now 3 1/2, and Maggie is 1 1/2.
We sure miss Austin, sure miss the music, sure miss the atmosphere. Can't wait to get back to it. But that being said, it's also WONDERFUL to be out of Austin's Semiconductor industry. If you're down there and your job involves "smocking up" and doing something with wafers or photomasks, my heart goes out to you.
Anyway, I mainly wanted to post something to let you know that this website and comic strip isn't dead. Please check back in a few weeks. Thanks for your patience.
I remember the crowd was good and it was one of our better gigs as the opener. When Lucky’s crew got there, they took over the back room that seemed to be shared with us when we started, but African royalty has it’s privileges and they took over while we were on stage. When we were done, we had to run in and grab our things that had been shoved into corners. I remember a tall African guy in traditional dress asking me how much I paid for the bass I had strapped on. (At the moment it was my 1980’s Carvin fretless that I got in a pawnshop for around $300.) So I told him I paid around $300. He just smiled and went “Huh.” I didn’t know what that meant, but in hindsight I think in Zulu it translates to “What a piece of shit.”
Anyway, if you’re reading this I’m very surprised. Been way to busy for quite a while to do anything new here. I typed up a ‘rant’ of my recent life events, but didn’t post it after I realized that it just doesn’t make for fun reading. Well, it doesn’t make for fun living either. Life doesn’t always make for a good ‘blog.’ I’m just going onward through the fog to better days. Like the Bonedaddys said, "Forward ever, backward never." I can’t wait until art and music can be in the forefront of my life again. I wish I was going through something simple and glamorous like a drug or alcohol problem, but no.
Instead, from late 2005 to early 2007 I got married and had kids, had my semiconductor career in Austin blow up, got cancer and had surgery (successful, thankfully) had to sell our house in a down market and move to a place I'd rather not be and change to a whole new career. Now I'm self-employed and health insurance for my family is $900.00 a month, haven't figured out how we'll pay for that yet. Took forever to find a way to get health insurance at all after I got cancer. Health care in this country... don't get me started.
Real life is a lot tougher than any street drug or booze hangup I’m aware of. If you've been there you feel my pain. But someday life will settle and some form of normalcy will happen. My mission is to start this blog over first, since so much is happening in the world especially with the presidential campaign.
Fascinating how the odds are pretty good that the Democtats will be in office this time, huh? That means that for the first time in our nations history, we will have either a female president or a black president. Personally, I don't believe race or sex should be part of the equation, just the issues please. That being said, Ron Paul is my man.
Of the Democrats, Hillary would probably be the wiser choice based on her experience, and the fact that she'll have Bill as "first husband" sharing his experience. I'm no Democrat, but I'll take a Clinton over a G.W. Bush any day.
However, another part of me wants to see Obama win. Obama is a more likable person than Hillary, and a better speaker and motivator. I like the idea of someone completely new and different, even though he's a wildcard. I also like the possibility of seeing a black man as president. If it happens, there is the possibility that black- sorry- "African American" people will finally feel like they've come into their own, and truly equal in calling this nation their own. Imagine the good that would do for them, and America as a whole. America would truly be America at that point. Hillary can't do that, and I don't think she would have the same kind of revolutionary effect for women that Obama would have for black folks.
The important part is to remember that the president really doesn't have THAT much power anyway, not like everyone thinks. The president can veto some things, maybe help push a war through, but for the most part he (or she) is a figurehead. A Colonel Sanders or a Ronald MacDonald if you will. The real change happens in other places. But it's a fun show to watch anyway.
(Aug 12th,2007) Welcome to Atown, the former comic strip for the Austin Daze zine and a soap box for a formerly stressed out semiconductor slave. Ahhhh, those were the days. Well, big changes are happening in my life as I set off to reside in another state and start a new career. This is (we hope) a temporary thing as our hearts and souls reside in Austin and it’s surrounding areas. But unforeseen needs and circumstances are taking us elsewhere. I have no intention of quitting the comic strip, but I do plan to make some changes and refine it a bit and start again when life permits. I expect to resume my blog soon, and start “stripping” ASAP. Thanks for coming here I appreciate your patience.
(March 5th, 2007) Bloody ‘ell, where’ve I been? Well, I got a chance to pop in to see Brave Combo at Ruta Maya last Friday night. Wendy of Austin Daze was there and she told me something funny. It seems that the last Atown strip they ran (known as the dildo strip) got the Daze paper banned from a brewpub up north called “North By Northwest.” It seems the owner there picked up a Daze and got to that strip and threw them all out. They are no longer welcome.
At first I apologized to Wendy, but she obviously didn’t care. Then I thought about it and realized that it was a pretty cool thing that happened. The odd part is that none of my strips are ever really that nasty. Aside from one topless flight attendant, there has never been any nudity, and I’ve never used the “F” or the “S” word. (I think I’ve used the word “asshole” once… but since it was used to describe Bryant Gumbel the morning of 9/11, I figured it was justified.) Not that I mind foul language, I just hoped Atown would have a similar class level as Bloom County or any other Berke Breathed creation.
I remember a time Steph and I tried to go to North by Northwest. We were up there in that area for who knows what, and since we’re both beer snobs and home brewers, decided to pop in. We pull into the parking lot, and immediately sensed the “upscale” vibe- kinda like Cool River Café or some other north side place. Expensive SUV’s, BMW’s and sharp dressed pretty people were walking about, making you think you’re in Sugarland or Plano, but not Austin. We couldn’t find a place to park, and noticed the valet service trying to flag us down.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve never used a valet before, and don’t really want to pay a 17 year old to park my car. (Or rifle through my glove compartment for loose change, a spare roach, whatever…) So the upscale corporate vibe just freaked us out and we got back down to the south side where we belong, never having tried any of their beers. All that being said, I suppose it’s an honor to be the reason that the Austin Daze is no longer welcome there. Theirs is obviously a family establishment with high moral standards a south sider could hardly understand.
But back to the Brave Combo gig. They are always so much fun. I hope they keep on going for several more years. Being a bass player, I have to say I was heart broken when I found out Bubba Hernandez had left the band. But then they picked one of my favorite Austin bass players to replace him- Ann Marie Harrop. I knew her from her days with Shelly King and Guy Forsyth. Aside from being the kind of solid, talented and disciplined musician Brave Combo requires, she is also simply gorgeous. Absolutely beautiful, yessirree bob. (I never thought there would ever be a member of Brave Combo I’d have a crush on.)
Anyway- I’m still alive, just dealing with a lot of heavy changes in the ol’ personal life. Once these things are resolved, I should have more personal time to do things like cartooning. It’ll all work out, man. Atown will continue.
(Dec 26th 2006) Merry Christmas, Happy Festivus and Christmakwanzukkadan to all. On Friday November 17th, Maggie Grace Brannock entered the world a bit undersized at 5 pounds 3 ounces. That was over a month ago, and I haven’t had time to do anything here since. There’s been very little sleep to go around at our place. This year has so far been much more challenging and eventful than any I’ve ever had. So many things have happened and are happening, some good some not so good, many of which I’m not at liberty to share. Much is yet to come. If we can just get through this year and the first half of 2007, I think life will be okay. Pretty good, actually.
On the Friday after Thanksgiving I took my brother and his son Zack who were visiting from Phoenix to Ray Hennig’s Heart of Texas Music on South Lamar. We were about 20 feet from the front door when a guy in his late teens-early 20’s with a big mess of dark brown curly hair runs out of the store with a white Stratocaster in hand. A lady (Ray’s wife? Oldest daughter?) tried to run after him to no avail. So what do we do? Run after him of course. I wasn’t really expecting to tackle and beat the crap out of the guy, I just thought he’d hop into a car that was waiting, and I’d get the tag number for them. But he just kept running, and we kept running too.
He went into the neighborhood just north of there, and a cop just happened to be driving down that street. His dumb luck I guess. He's running with a guitar, the tag is flopping in the breeze, and 3 other guys are chasing him... the cop did the math. He hits the breaks and hops out and starts chasing him. The thief realizes he probably won’t get the guitar and chunks it into a yard and jumps a fence. I think he got away, but not with the guitar.
My nephew Zack picked it up and carried it back to the lady. We went into the store and Ray asked Zack if he plays guitar, which he does. Ray goes back and grabs 5 sets of new strings and hands them to Zack. Pretty cool, huh? But I was left with this thought… If you’re a loser that has to steal guitars, why steal it from a guy like Ray? Why not steal from one of the big corporate places instead? Have a heart, dude. Leave the South Austin mom & pop shops alone. Another interesting thing was that the guitar the guy tried to steal was a lefty. How many left-handed guitarists are there? Do you know any who would try to steal a white Strat?
Very sad to hear about the passing of James Brown. A lot of people of HUGE stature have passed away in recent days, and it’s common to hear people praising them and making gross exaggerations about how great they were. It’s as if by doing that, a little of their greatness might rub off on you. But in JB’s case, exaggerations aren’t even possible, are they? This guy influenced everybody including the Beatles and the Stones, George Clinton and P-Funk, and nearly every rock, funk and soul act since the early 60’s. Every front man/singer since has asked himself "Now how would James Brown do this song?" Only a handful of artists can be thought of as a “Force of Nature,” and he was one. Motown, Disco, Funk, Hip-hop, just about any kind of pop music with a serious groove is filled with JB’s DNA.
(Nov 3rd, 2006) I voted last week down at the Buda city hall. I feel really good about how I voted, and I don’t mind telling you. I voted for Kinky as governor, even though I know Perry will win. Wasn’t it awful in the debate how the other candidates ganged up on Kinky calling him a racist when nothing could be further from the truth? We all know that in their private lives, Kinky would be the least likely of the bunch to be a true racist. And even if he is, at least he’d be straight forward about it and not all fake and PC like the rest of them. It’s all just salesmanship on the campaign trail if you ask me.
Beyond that, I voted LIBERTARIAN any time there was a Libertarian option, and when there wasn’t I voted Democrat. Democrats after all, are better than Republicans on a local level, and after the things the Republicans have done lately, I just couldn’t bring myself to support a single one of them. This is the first time I can remember not voting for even a single one. But I’m really excited about the Libertarian party and the growth they are experiencing lately. It won’t be long before they will be a real threat to the Republicans and Democrats- both of which need to know they are threatened.
I was a bit troubled with the electronic computerized voting machines, and hoped that Old Town Buda would have a more old fashioned and trustworthy method in place. Although I’m not sure computerized voting fraud is happening right now, I believe it WILL happen in the near future. Aside from the widespread apathy and general political ignorance among the masses, computerized voting fraud is the next biggest threat to our democracy. Hey guess what… terrorism isn’t even in the top five!
The winds of change are blowing folks. The truth movement is marching on, people are becoming more aware, and something is gonna happen. Major change is happening in our house as well. “Maggie Grace Brannock” is expected to enter this world in the next few weeks. This will be just the beginning of some major changes about to occur in our lives. Like Geddy said, “Constant change is here to stay.” Change is healthy, change is good. (Unless of course, it doesn’t meet your specific change needs.)
A few years ago when the famous Ward Churchill essay hit the fan, I read it with mixed feelings. Anytime really bad things happen in this world, there is one point that I'm reminded of in particular in which Ward seemed to question the concept of “evil.” That part went like this:
“…Insanity is a condition readily associable with the very American idea that one – or one's country – holds what amounts to a "divine right" to commit genocide, and thus to forever do so with impunity… Sanity itself, in this frame of reference, might be defined by a willingness to try and destroy the perpetrators and/or the sources of their ability to commit their crimes. Which takes us to official characterizations of the combat teams as an embodiment of "evil." Evil – for those inclined to embrace the banality of such a concept…”
I never graduated from college, and I have only a HS diploma from an Oklahoma public school to show for my little brain. Certainly this guy- a professor at the University of Colorado might be qualified to suggest that “evil” is an old, outdated concept that only makes sense to the likes of George W. Bush. What a liberating thought that is. Is he saying that evil only exists because the few remaining red-neck neo-cons with “end of times” agendas still cling to it? And now thanks to new progressive higher thinking, it’s about to become extinct? I like that, because I have a kid and another on the way, and I’m glad the world they’re about to inherit will soon be rid of evil altogether. So let’s just keep it in the monster movies and heavy metal music where it truly belongs.
Ward’s essay really got me thinking. Could it be that simple? Does evil really exist, or is it nothing more than an archaic old superstition, or religious (not your religion, but someone else’s) concept? I’d like to see it that way, because then evil could simply go away by our own choosing. And I would definitely choose to just blink it out of existance. We just need to evolve a teensy weensy bit more, that’s all.
But then these news stories keep coming in. This guy in Pennsylvania who kills 5 young girls in an Amish school house, equipped with items such as a long board with eyehooks every few feet, items used to tie the girls up, and a tube of KY jelly. That’s right- a tube of KY jelly. It’s not hard to imagine where that was headed. To me, whatever force motivated such a carefully premeditated act seems pretty darn “evil.” Am I naïve and Bush-like for thinking so? Sure, many of us get angry, and imagine committing horrific acts of revenge from time to time. But to actually follow through with it… and to inflict that wrath on totally innocent kids that weren’t even alive when that bad thing happened to you… is that not evil? Insane yes, but Salvador Dali was also insane and he never killed anybody.
What about the sons of Saddam Hussein, Uday and Qusay. Being the spoilt rotten children of the grand ruler of the country with unlimited wealth and personal servants, they used it to their full advantage. While they could have used their power to make Iraq a better place, they chose to rape and kill dozens of women and young girls, and torture Olympic athletes and football players with power drills. They killed people by feeding them into wood chippers and drowning them in acid baths. What motivated them to do this?
Those examples of evil seem pretty hardcore, but the most common form is much more mundane. Evil is in the way the music industry cares about marketing and fashion and ignores talent, artistic substance and merit. Evil is in the dumbing down of our culture, and the belief that being “politically correct” is more important than being truthful. Evil hiked the gas prices all summer long when it wasn’t even remotely necessary to do so. Evil is the desire to hurt thousands of others just to benefit yourself- as in Enron. Evil pays $200 for a “TMX Tickle Me Elmo” on Ebay, just so some spoilt brat can have this Christmas season’s trendy hot new toy.
Here’s my point- if I have one: In this world it’s easy to debate WHAT evil is, if it’s simply a human trait, a secular concept or the careful manipulations of SATAN himself. It’s easy to debate what the examples of evil are. But to debate whether or not evil actually does exist… to look around at this world and say “anyone willing to embrace the banality of such a concept…” that seems pretty DAMN naïve to me.
Now certainly I don’t mean that my idea of evil is the same as Bush’s, or the neo-cons, or the fundamentalists of any sort. I’ve never been a Bush fan and I won’t start that now. Anytime a politician uses the term “evil,” it is most likely for the purpose of your manipulation. But I would say that George and I both agree that evil, in whatever form it really exists- does in fact exist. Recognizing that is probably a pretty smart thing to do. Understanding the nature of evil is a requirement for anyone that desires to live a life of good. We all want to be good, right? But as sure as I am that evil exists, I’m also sure that it thrives within America just as easily as it does anywhere else. If anything, maybe we’re just better at hiding it. And we’re also better at marketing it, packaging it and selling it too.
(Sept. 18th, 2006) I like this news story about the Pope pissing off all the Muslims. It’s like he’s taking one for the team by directing a little of their anger away from us. He quoted a Byzantine emperor who once said a command by Mohammed to spread his faith by the sword was "evil and inhuman," and then he acted surprised by the reaction.
I’m not Catholic (in spite of being Irish) and I have no idea how they pick a pope, but I would think that having a GRASP FOR THE OBVIOUS should be a requirement. It’s okay for some guy down at the pub to claim Mohammed taught violence, but if you’re THE POPE, people sort of take you seriously. That just comes with the gig, I guess. Even I know that, and I’m not even Catholic. (It doesn’t matter that the Pope’s comments might possibly be true, he just isn’t supposed to SAY it.)
The funny part is the Islamic reaction. The streets have filled with angry mobs threatening war and violence because the Pope suggested that they might be… violent. The irony there is blaring, and it seems to escape these folks altogether. The Pope suggests they’re violent, and they rush right out to prove him right. But like Bill Hicks said, “That’s what fundamentalism breeds- no irony.” There are thousands of people shaking their fists all chanting “If you have the nerve to accuse us of being violent, we’ll KILL YOU!!!” and not one of them sees the silliness in that. So to prove they aren't violent, they go out and shoot a nun three times in the back at a children’s hospital in Somalia. Take that, you silly Pope!
I can’t make this stuff up. It’s like a bad skit from Monty Python’s “Life of Brian.” I don’t know who should be more ashamed, God or Allah. I just know that the more I learn about humans, the more I like dogs. Dogs are friendly. Dogs won’t make an effigy of you and burn it. They don’t cut you off in traffic, claim to be the master race and then gas six million cats. They don’t split atoms, talk during the movie or rush out to buy the new Paris Hilton CD. They don’t contribute to Global Warming and they aren’t dependent on foreign oil. A dog might pee on your rug, but a human will shoot you, roll your body up in a rug and dump you in the lake. Yes, dogs are better people than most people, and about 15 a day get the needle at the Town Lake Animal Center. (And not one of them ever said anything bad about Islam.)
This is the world we live in, and it’s the world we’re passing on to our children. And we have the nerve to wonder why the kids these days are so apathetic. If I were about to inherit this world, I’d want to climb inside my Xbox machine too.
(Sept. 11th, 2006) Five years after 9/11, there are still more questions than answers about the events of that day. It’s the single biggest news event of my lifetime thus far, but I don’t believe it will be for long. Whether you believe the official story (19 terrorists under Osama bin Laden hijacked airliners to slam them into strategic locations) or the conspiracy theory (The US government under the New World Order attacked itself so that Americas would willingly hand over their freedom for the illusion of security) or the left version (The greedy Bush Administration has been taking advantage of the Middle East and Muslims for years, and their poor foreign policies has brought this well-deserved attack onto us) one thing is clear: Americans in general have not learned anything from the event. We have stuck our collective heads into the sand, and when the next attack comes, that one will probably be very well deserved. We are no match for the ‘greatest generation’ of WWII. Ours is a generation of fat ignorant brainwashed slobs just flipping to the next channel.
We’re ignoring it, because no matter what you think the solution is, it’s a whole lot easier to eat another piece of pizza, open another cold beer and tune into Monday Night Football. It’s so much easier to get caught up in some reality show, even though you HATE reality shows. But also because most of us work too much and then come home to a hectic home life, and in the brief few minutes we have at the end of the day to think about world politics, it’s just too much to even think about being able to do anything about that. We have to get up in the morning like the zombies we are.
If the attack was by our own government as people like Alex Jones claim, then we’ll deserve the next one because we haven’t figured that out and we still aren’t trying to overthrow our evil tyrannical government yet. If the official story is true, then we deserve another attack because we’ve failed to put Osama’s head on a platter, and al-Qaeda, Hezbollah, and Hamas are still surviving the “War on Terror.” If the left is right and we deserved 9/11 because of our evil Capitalist ways, we’ll deserve the next one because we’ve allowed BIG OIL to run the country, and they’re keeping us dependent on foreign oil which finances terrorism, when we have plenty of our own oil. We also have plenty of alternative energy sources that aren’t being used like they should be. But isn’t it possible that some elements of all these theories could be true?
Although I do agree that the Bush administration has done a poor job of winning hearts and minds in the Middle East (is that even possible anyway?) I don’t agree that the attack was deserved. There is a right way and a wrong way to take care of problems and disagreements. If al-Qaeda hates US policies so much, why have they not appealed to the UN? Why haven’t they done anything to raise awareness of our supposed “atrocities” to the American voting public? There are millions of Muslims in this country, they could start a PR campaign that could change things (if they need to be) over time. Instead, these terrorist thugs just go and run airplanes into buildings on live TV. Yeah, that’ll accomplish plenty. We all REALLY want to convert to Islam now. Isn’t that supposed to be the Islamifascist’s holy mission? Convert the world to Islam and kill those who won’t? I feel sorry for Allah if Osama and al-Qaeda really are his ‘best and brightest’ at work.
Certainly only a small percentage of Muslims are of a violent nature, but the ones that aren’t are curiously silent. Is that because they know the terrorist Muslims really are following Islam to the letter of the law? This is a frightening predicament. It is HUGELY important that the peaceful Muslims rise up against the terrorists and separate themselves from violent ideologies, and they haven’t done so. That fact sends an unfortunate message loud and clear.
The conspiracy theories are compelling. There are many documentaries floating around out there that show lots of evidence that it could have been an inside job. The questions that haunt me the most are: the small number of deaths, the falling of building seven, the fact that WTC owner Larry Silverstein had just bought the whole complex and had taken an obscene insurance policy on it, and when he commented that building 7 was “pulled” (demolished) when it was determined to be unsafe- only about 8 hours after the attack. This would have taken weeks by professionals, and yet it fell just like all the buildings did- like a perfectly planned demolition. This could not have been possible due to random fires and damage, but we are told it did.
The attack happened just after 9:00am on a Tuesday morning. There should have been about 50,000 people in each tower. The planes hit about 15 minutes apart. Given the size of the buildings, the places where the planes struck, the time of day, the fact that both towers fell so quickly- the death toll should have been around 15,000 to 20,000 people if not more. Instead, it was just under 3,000. The only way this is possible is if only a small fraction of people showed up that morning, which means (as many in the Arab world believes) a lot of people were notified NOT to go to work that day because it was an inside job.
If you are a conservative Republican type, you should be pissed off that FIVE years after the WORST attack ever on US soil, Osama bin Laden is still completely free. Everybody says he’s “somewhere along the mountainous region near the border of Pakistan and Afghanistan.” So what is that, 200 or 300 miles? A strip about 50 to 100 miles wide? So it’s an area about half the size of Tennessee. Why is that so impossible? Is it because we don’t want to piss off Pakistan? Forget that. The most wanted man on earth is in that area, and if they don’t want him caught then they’re guilty too. The fact that we’ve let him slip out several times and still don’t have him is shameful, embarrassing, and a blatant failure of the Bush Administration. (I bet if he had a few ounces of pot on him and you sent a Williamson County Sheriff over there, he’d be caught.) Even the Neo-Cons ought to see it that way. But for some reason they don’t, and they keep supporting Bush just the same.
An even better point is this: If you’re a Neo-Con, you should be pissed off at George W because he couldn’t get Osama and went after Saddam instead. That’s bad because IRAN was the bigger threat, and they’re laughing and taking full advantage of the fact that we’re stretched too thin right next door. Iran was always more evil than Iraq any day. They fund more terrorist organizations (Hamas, Hezbollah) they’re closer to going “nucular,” and they have a longer history of being hostile towards us. They’re also far more fundamentalist than Saddam ever was, and really buy into the “end of times” Armageddon type philosophy. But let’s hit Saddam instead because he tried to kill my Daddy. Let’s use the American Military to settle a personal score. Yeah, whatever.
Folks, this rant is sloppy and unorganized because I’m way too busy these days. But my point is this: No matter how you look at 9/11, our government has failed and you should feel ripped off. If the enemy is Osama, we have failed. If the enemy is within, we have failed. If we deserved it, we have failed. 9/11 was a wake up call, and we’re still sleeping. As a result, a far bigger attack is coming, and if it happens (and it will) then we’ll deserve it. It’s only a matter of time before “nucular” technology falls into the wrong hands, and the next nuclear blast is detonated- and that will happen on US soil. Because technology has advanced, it will be far worse than what Japan saw in WWII. Good thing for us is that it will most likely be NYC, Washington DC, or LA. But the odds of it effecting the South Austin/Buda area are mighty slim, so I think I’ll be okay.
(August 26, 2006) Well, I can now proudly hold my head up high and announce that I am a cancer survivor. Actually, I’m not that proud because saying it that way implies that I went through some kind of courageous life or death battle, went around bald and endured months of radiation and chemo. The truth is not that exciting. Mine was easily cured with surgery, the effected organ was removed and I should live fairly normally without it. The pathology report showed that all of the cancer was contained. That’s good news, but I still don’t feel proud enough to wear the little rubber bracelet they gave me to show that I’m a survivor. But if I left it alone, it would have spread and eventually killed me. So I suppose I should feel fortunate just the same. (Sorry, I guess I’ll still be drawing these sad little cartoons.)
This time of year always makes me stir crazy. Having grown up (but NOT being born in) Oklahoma City, weather was a constantly changing thing. The best summer entertainment was the WRATH OF GOD thunderstorms that pummeled us on a fairly regular basis. At least 3 or 4 times a month, storms would throw straight-line winds over 50mph, hail, and the obligatory tornado here and there. The afternoon sky would turn black enough that the street lights came on, and then the 95 degree day would instantly turn to about 70 when the cold front whipped through. Then came the lightning, thunder and torrential downpours, which usually lasted until the next morning.
The weather man would beep-beep-beep and interrupt the regularly scheduled programming every tem minutes, showing you where the tornadoes are, the hail, the black-out regions, etc. And if it was close to you, the storm sirens in your neighborhood would go off, like some kind of WWII air raid was about to occur. I know, you might wonder why I would miss such a thing, but it was really exciting. That was our entertainment because there’s just NOTHING else to do in OKC. Hollywood doesn’t make movies fast enough, the TV is stupid, and everything else that could be fun is illegal, so we watched the storms.
But here in Central Texas, a storm of any intensity worth remembering is a very rare thing. In fact, most summers, rain falling for more than 20 minutes at a time is something to feel lucky about. The only storm I can remember that was really exciting was the May 1997 storm that generated the Jerrell F5 tornado, and another one that ripped the roof off a Round Rock Albertson’s, and a third that cleared a swath in the trees along HWY 71 towards the lake. That was 9 years ago. There have been a few floods since then, but it was just steady rain, without any damaging winds, tornadoes, hail, all the things that makes you think that God is really pissed off at you. The most exciting thing that happens here are the reports of the morons who get swept away trying to cross a flooded roadway. It’s much more exciting hearing about people who got sucked out of their mobile home and what’s left of their corpse is found in a pasture 8 miles away. That, is a crazy way to die. Being swept away trying to cross a flooded street is just stupid and embarrassing.
So for me it’s as if I’m in that Bill Murray movie “Groundhog’s Day,” forced to live the same exact day over and over. Nothing is different. Nothing changes. Or like what Bill Hicks said about L.A. weather… hot and sunny hot and sunny, every day hot and sunny. That’s great, what are you a lizard? Alas, I can only hope that a tropical storm will come and park itself over Central Texas for about a week. That might happen eventually, but not in the near future. So I guess I’ll quit my bitching now, because there’s plenty of other things that makes the Austin area a great place to live. And tomorrow, we’ll be going to the Austin Chronicle Hot Sauce festival, if we can stand the heat.
(Aug 10, 2006) Today’s terror report is a real head scratcher. In the UK, Islamic terrorists primarily from Pakistan were to assemble bombs aboard TEN airliners bound for the U.S. They would have killed thousands. Possibly as many people that died on 9/11. Needless to say we’re on terror alert orange- whatever THAT means. Sorry Mrs. Johnson from Terre Haute, Indiana, you can’t carry that bottle of Ozarka spring water with you while you’re stuffed into coach to go visit your grandkids in Tulsa. Why? YOU might be a terrorist. Don’t tell us you’re not, because we know better. Be a good American and sit there dehydrated, even though it’s hard on your diabetes. Besides, in about an hour the flight attendant will be by with just enough water to wet your lips.
The first thing that hits my warped head is the Alex Jones take on the deal. The New World Order is creating these “terrorist” events to give us the false sense of security we SHOULD be getting in return for handing over our rights. But in this case it was British and Pakistani authorities that supposedly thwarted the attacks. So I’m not so quick to believe an Alex Jones scenario as I might if it was a CIA or FBI bust. So lets just take it at face value, as if the media reports are true. If so, then the “War against Terrorism” gets a gold star today. Yippee.
I can’t help but see the war against terrorism being about as effective as the war against drugs. They declared a war on drugs a few decades ago, and now there’s more drugs than there’s ever been and millions of mostly non-violent people are serving long prison terms. I’ve heard that kids can get joints easier than cigarettes these days. So now there’s a war on terror, and terror’s getting more popular too. It’s not that I’m suggesting we should just lay back and take it. I'm an "eye for an eye" guy in the short term. Obviously terrorism needs to be dealt with, and our military and police forces can be an effective method- but only until we find the real cure. It’s my belief that there isn’t a long term, permanent solution that involves violence. (And if foreign tanks were rolling through South Austin, you’d want to attack the land they came from too.)
What we need to get through our heads is that the “enemy” we’re fighting today is a theological one. It’s an idea, a thought. That’s the enemy. There’s about a billion people that share that thought, but only a few million are passionate, desperate or fundamentalist enough to be violent. A few hundred thousand will strap bombs on and blow themselves up, and there’s no way to protect yourself against that. But we can’t shoot or bomb the idea out of their heads, and so the idea simply grows. The idea appears more and more true to them the more violent and forceful we become.
What makes matters worse is when we have a nutcase like Army Pfc. Steven Green, who while in Iraq shot and killed a whole family and raped a daughter before killing her. Gee, what a way to help the cause, dude. What a way to win the average Iraqi to OUR way of thinking. Thanks. This guy should be left tied to a tree somewhere in downtown Baghdad at high noon. Seriously, if we’re gonna win over the hearts and minds, we should just cough the guy up in a public display. It’s worth it. (I’d bet there’d be nothing left of him big enough to bury.)
It’s a real predicament we’re in. It’s my understanding (I hope I’m wrong) that the proper literal Islamic way of thinking is that the only good infidel (non-Islamic person of any sort) is a dead one. Hindus, Buddhists, Taoists, Jews, Catholics, Protestants, Agnostics, Atheists, Hippie Peaceniks, it doesn’t matter. Convert to Islam or you should all be dead, so says Muhammad. I’m told that the literal interpretation of the Qur’an states that all infidels should die, so it is an Islamic duty to kill them until the entire planet is Islamic. (Most Islamics just don’t take it so literally or just don’t want that much blood on their hands.) I’ve also been told that there is an Islamic principle that states that it is not necessary for an Islamic person to be truthful with an infidel. They are only obligated to be honest to other Islamics. Wow. I hope that’s not true, but my research says it is. (Please explain it to me if I’m wrong.)
So if we stay on the course we’re on, and they stay on the course THEY’RE on, eventually we’ll have to kill ALL the Islamics. That’s about a billion people worldwide. The more we kill, the more we’ll have to kill until they’ve all risen up to be killed. Women, children, old people, the handicapped, all of them. Oh sure, we probably have the technology (enough nukes) to do that. But should we? Wasn’t there a commandment that said, “Thou Shalt NOT kill?” We look the other way on that one all the time, but when it comes to a billion people, maybe it’s time to take God seriously.
There’s only other way I can think of is this: we must battle ideas with ideas. Our military can be a good weapon against another military, but ideas must be used in the war of ideas. We must come up with better ideas, that’s where we’re going wrong. That’s where Bush is going wrong. As a nation we haven’t yet climbed inside the enemy’s mind to see what makes it tick. Only a tiny percentage of Americans have the most basic understanding of Islam. They are going to hold passionately to their beliefs until they no longer seem logical to them. They're going to keep being attracted to terrorism as long as it makes sense to them. That’s the only way to win this war. Make violence no longer seem logical. Sure, it’s a lot easier to drop bombs and blow other people up than to win over their hearts and minds. But like “Scotty” on Star Trek once told Captain Kirk, “The first man to raise a fist is the first man to run out of ideas.” I'm not sure it's possible for us to do that, but we still need to try.
In WWII, we fought a justified and respectable war against greed. Both Germany and Japan were fighting a war for possessions, expansion, power and ownership. There was no religious element to that war. (Well, perhaps there was between Germany and the Jews, but not one that involved us directly.) It’s easy to bomb the idea of greed out of a country. Greed is tempting when you’re feeling bold, but on a cold sober day when one of your friends is lying dead in the foxhole next to you, greed means nothing. You just want to go home to the small house you have and forget it ever happened. Religion on the other hand, means even more when you’re buddy was just killed by a non-believer, who may as well be Satan himself. Therefore, you can’t bomb the religion out of a country. Religion keeps coming back. What we’re doing might make sense in the short term, but in the long term, we’re simply making enemies faster than we can kill them.
(July 28, 2006) Today Exxon reported second quarter profits in excess of $10 Billion dollars, and one AP writer figured that translates to 4.7 million dollars PER HOUR. (Please re-read that for dramatic effect, okay?)
These aren’t sales figures; these are in-the-pocket take-home profits after expenses. Also, Chevron, BP PLC, Conoco/Phillips and Royal Dutch Shell PLC issued similar reports. It’s pretty hard for the average person to wrap their brain around numbers like that, so when these news stories come out most people just ignore them- which is the wrong thing to do. Can’t they drop the price 30, 40 or even 50 cents per gallon and STILL make obscene profits? I know that’s a naive thing to ask, but why not? The answer is clear: The price of oil wasn’t driven up by Katrina or by violence in the Middle East. It was driven up by good ‘ol American greed.
Here in America, all of us are in business to make money, and I have no problem with that. I’m very much a Capitalist myself, and in the way it was intended there’s no shame in that. But when the Founding Fathers chose Capitalism, didn’t they make the assumption that the players involved would be reasonably ethical people? And even if they aren’t, they’re still expected to operate within the law, right? But lately, we’ve seen clear examples of MAJOR corporations doing neither. They become bigger, more powerful, and more able to do anything they want without consequence. But that’s not the worst part. The worst thing is that “We The Sheeple” know what’s going on, and we’d rather crack open another cold corporate Budweiser and flip channels than think too much about it. (Yes, we’ve definitely forgotten the price that was paid for our freedom, not that long ago.)
What Exxon is doing isn’t really Capitalism anyway. If they sold stereos, or blue jeans, and they jacked up the price, no one would buy them. So the difference here is that the small hand full of players in Oil and Gas (and a couple of guys in DC) agree on a set price that they all stick to, give or take a few cents. That creates a monopoly situation, and everybody involved gets richer if they play the game. (I get the feeling if a rogue CEO were to sell at 20 cents cheaper to corner the market, he’d be sleeping with the fishes the next day.) Also, not everyone needs a new stereo or pair of jeans. But if you work, you probably need gas to get there. And if you go to the store and buy something, it was gas that brought it there. So these evil geniuses have us by the scrotum a lot more than any other simple entrepreneur.
To me the thing they produce and sell falls in a different category. Even worse, if every jeans or stereo manufacturer jacked up their prices together, we’d all whip out our sewing machines and soldering irons and figure it out pretty quickly. But if all the oil and gas producers cut us off, well I don’t think anyone of us will be home brewing gasoline anytime soon. They know that, and that’s where their power lies. (They also have a fancy way of keeping alternative energy sources from catching on, but don’t get me started there.)
Then there’s Big Government. A fat, bureaucratic, inefficient and obtrusive beast that takes a big crap on the Bill of Rights daily. The two guys in the highest positions (Bush-Cheney) came from Big Oil themselves. Am I a bad person for thinking that if the price of gas doubles right at the end of their administration, it’s NOT just a coincidence? Am I bad if I see this as an obvious pay-back to the big oil cronies that got them “elected” in the first place? Am I bad if I see this as their last great “Hurrah” to become even richer before retirement? (And I’m not a Democrat, I don’t consider myself a liberal, but this stuff should be obvious to anyone who pays attention.)
Here’s what I see when I put big business and big government together. (I’m not a conspiracy nut, just an observer of human nature.) As business gets more powerful and almighty, and our government does too, and the line between them blurs when one controls the other, and they become so distant from regular citizens that we become just numbers on a page ready to be taken advantage of, you and I will PAY THE PRICE. We will pay it by slowly handing over our quality of life and our freedom bit by bit until it’s all gone. Clearly this is the path we are on, we know it and see it and the end result is obvious. And still we do nothing, because it’s more convenient to ignore it and hope it goes away. We’re all overworked and underpaid, and with our time off we’d rather spend it with friends and family than be a government watchdog.
It’s not that Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin and George Washington had a bad plan; they just had more faith in the basic goodness of mankind than to imagine Enron or Exxon could be the result. Or perhaps their peers were just better people so this just didn’t seem conceivable. They couldn’t have imagined the unnecessary size of the modern Federal Government, the Gestapo methods of the IRS, the Department of Homeland Security, the Patriot Act, the special interest groups. How could they have guessed that an illiterate Frat boy from Connecticut pretending to be a cowboy from Texas could become president through the “good ‘ol boy network?” The Founding Fathers were idealists, and man, it sure was a good idea at the time.
I don’t think America is totally lost, it could still be great again. But to get there I think we’ll need one helluva revolution. And when I look at all the fat slobs at Wal-Mart and their pudgy X-box playing kids, I see ignorant masses that rightfully deserve their fate. The dumbed-down Americans would be totally incapable of thinking that far, having enough passion, and doing anything about it. They deserve to lose the country their forefathers fought so hard for. The average American isn’t interested in freedom anymore, and I’m not even sure it’s taught in schools. So I’m not optimistic about our future, but if an intelligent consensus can be formed quickly enough, maybe we’ll survive anyway.
(July 25, 2006) It’s been a crazy summer so far, but that was expected. Our son Max was born 18 months ago, and he’s been the number one thing in our lives ever since. Having a kid puts the breaks on everything, it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but the rewards balance it out. I mean it’s really tough, but Max is so cool (anyone who’s ever met him can vouch for that) that the decision to have another wasn’t that hard. The new one will be born this year sometime around Thanksgiving. (It’s a St. Paddy’s Day baby, and yes, plenty of Guinness was involved.)
The day job has been what it’s always been. About 50 hours a week every week, holidays and weekends, with the most demanding and unreasonable customers on earth. Sometimes I’m there really early, sometimes I’m there after midnight. Funny thing about careers that you don’t choose, after a number of years, you start making a fair amount of money. But you can’t use it for fun because by then you have a mortgage (Latin word meaning death-grip…look it up) a car payment, and a few dependants. You begin to hate your job but can’t leave it because you’re not qualified to do anything else. So you’re still basically living the same life, only now you can’t leave it when it pisses you off like you could in your single, apartment living days. I guess I’m finally growing up.
Then an unfortunate medical condition creeps up. I don’t want to mention the “C” word, but lets just say now I have more in common with Lance Armstrong and Bill Hicks than I ever wanted. (No, I don’t own a road bike and I’m still not a comic genius.) But the good news is that mine is very curable, more so than Lance’s and considerably more than Bill Hicks’ was. So I’m not worried about dying, but I’m not looking forward to my upcoming surgery and any possible unknown side effects. It definitely was a motivator in the decision to have another baby so quickly, even though we’re not really ready. So if it seems like I’ve been distracted and I’m not updating this web site and drawing enough strips, that’s why. I’ve got WAY too much life happening. (I actually have drawn some new ones that were printed in the Austin Daze and I never found the time to upload them here. I hope I’ll do that soon.)
To help distract my thoughts from all that is going on, I now finally have a music space/recording studio. There wasn’t enough room in the house or the garage, so I decided that the 7’ x 7’ foot shed in our backyard that houses our water well could work. It’s about the size of a walk in closet, it’s well insulated and about 50 yards away from the house. It already has electricity and it’s metal, so it’s fairly secure. So I cleaned it out, built some shelves and laid down some carpet. There’s room enough for my bass amp, guitar amp, keyboard, congas, digital recorder and a chair. (For safety’s sake, I bring the instruments inside at night. There’s also a big lock on the door and about a dozen AIDS-infected Jack Russell’s running around back there, so leave it alone.) This shed will be known as “Watershed Studios,” since it is a well house and the term “watershed” also means ‘going in a whole new direction.’ I like that, it’s very fitting. I almost named it “Scorpion Studios” because it’s crawling with the little buggers (I used a chorus pedal to squash one yesterday) but that didn’t seem as meaingful.
But it’s great to have a studio and a place to work on music ideas. My chops on the bass and the guitar have suffered, but it’s all coming back. My focus will be more on songwriting, which I hope will overcome any shortcomings from quality of equipment and recording skill. If I can create music I’m proud of, hopefully someday I can re-record it under better conditions with some other musicians involved.
Eventually I hope to have that magical life I’ve always dreamt of- one that is all about art and music. But that day isn’t today. I hope it happens soon and I don’t have to wait until the 401(k) kicks in, but who knows. Thanks for your patience and I hope you can relate.
(July 14, 2006) I’m sad to hear about the closing of the Backroom. If you don’t live here, the Backroom is the only club in Austin that could be considered a Metal bar. They’ve also had punk bands and harder edged alternative bands, and they’ve been around forever. I was lucky enough to see The Ramones, Motorhead, Faith No More, Primus and Bad Brains there. All of those guys are unbelievable. I’m sure I’ve seen many others, but those come to mind right now. Austin has never been a Metal town, so the closure of this important venue will be sadly overlooked by the local media. What a shame.
Speaking of shames, how about the ass kicking that Lebanon and Hezbollah are receiving from Israel right now? Well, it’s not entirely shameful, some of that is well deserved. It’s important to note that where terrorism is concerned, Hezbollah is second only to al-Qaeda in the killing of innocent people. They are almost entirely funded by those fun Mullahs in Iran. But this wholesale ass kicking that Israel is dishing out definitely seems like an over-reaction to me. Even if it is deserved, it could also be bringing about World War III, so I think their actions could be a bit shortsighted.
When you have a toddler son like I do and another baby on the way, you see things a bit differently. I’m safely past the recruiting or DRAFTING age myself, so I need not worry. But I don’t want to see any of my kids going to fight a stupid political, economic or religious war. Unfortunately that’s all they’ve been ever since Vietnam. I’m super proud of the WWII generation, in that war the good guys and the bad guys were clearly defined. Gee, I miss those days.
I can’t help but see something like this as a sporting event. Which team am I pulling for, Israel or Hezbollah? Judaism or Islam? Well, I’d like to say neither because I think people should be able to get along and work out their differences without blowing each other to tiny bits. But since that’s obviously not an option here, I must admit that I have more in common with the Israelis. I have a better understanding of how the Jewish mind works. As much as I’d like to understand the Islamic mind, I don’t. I want to, but I just don’t. But I’d still like to see Israel chill out a bit and stop blowing everything up. Because if that’s what they want to do, they’re pulling us in as well. And quite honestly, the daily blood report out of Iraq is depressing enough. So let’s all figure out how the cooler heads can prevail here, okay?
(June 17, 2006) Happy Juneteenth, ya’ll, I’ve been crazy busy lately. I just got back from a quick family trip to Florida, and I think I discovered a place that is a special hell for a handful of Europeans and Asians. No, I’m not talking about the entire state of Florida, just one part: Disney’s Epcot Center.
The idea of the park is a good one, being more educational than silly fluffy entertainment. The front half has pavilions with science, nature and technology themes, and the back half has international pavilions around a small lake. Canada, England, France, Germany, Japan, China, Morocco, Norway and Mexico are all represented. The idea is that as you walk through it, you should feel as if you’re actually in those countries. And for added realism, they staff each one with people from the country, usually speaking to each other in their native tongue. (They even have an American pavilion made to look like Independence Hall in Philadelphia, with people dressed in colonial garb… I wanted to ask one of them “Wow, so like are you really from America?”)
It’s a great idea, with music and food and a few 360 degree surround theaters that show a 20 minute film of the country. But here’s the hard part: the mostly college aged folks brought over to represent their countries are forced to be up-close-and-personal with the WORST Americans you can imagine. Fat, obnoxious kids who don’t even know where these countries are or even care, fat Homer Simpson like fathers bumbling about, pushy moms trying to buy whatever is on sale… all of them shoving by you trying to get to the next thing first. It was a bit embarrassing. I couldn’t help but think that the poor kids working at these pavilions will go back to their home country and tell horror stories of the ignorant, ugly Americans and their ignorant obnoxious kids. I wanted to take one of them aside and say “We’re not all like that, really. Thank you for your patience.” Could there possibly be a worse place on earth for a person from France or Germany?
So while I’m in Florida, the US finally finds and kills al-Zarqawi. They had a HUGE picture of his dead face in a golden frame for the press conference. Here’s the deal: they dropped two 500 pound bombs on the house he was in, which killed him, and not even the hair on his head or his scruffy face got burnt. The computer hard drives and documents all survived too. Sure- there’s a crater the size of a Wal-Mart parking lot where the house used to be, but everything of value to the propaganda war for OUR side survives. Yeah, it happened just like that.
Meanwhile, the Bilderberg group was meeting in Ottawa to discuss your future and mine in their annual meeting of the elite. That’s right- just like that scene in “So I Married an Axe Murderer” where Mike Myers is playing his Scottish father… “It’s a well known fact, Sunny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentaveret, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows. So who's in this Pentaveret? The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, AND Colonel Sanders before he went tits up!” Yes folks, that really does happen. Maybe not exactly like that, but close. Alex Jones might be crazy, but he’s not wrong all the time. Like Bill always said: “Sleep tight America, your government is in control.”
(May 23rd, 2006) Very sad to learn about the loss of Clifford Antone today. There's really nothing I can say about him that isn't already going to be said by anyone who's anybody in the Austin music scene. But like they said on KGSR, if he were here he wouldn't want to see a bunch of people talking about how sad they are. He'd just say "shut up and play some blues."
(April 18th, 2006) There’s a big debate going around these days about Global Warming. That’s the idea that industrial pollution and vehicle exhaust is creating a greenhouse effect that causes the earth to retain more of the sun's heat. As a result, terrible things will happen. It seems like half the people in this country believe Global Warming is an absolute fact, and the other half believe it’s a total myth. Not much middle ground there. Here’s the predictable part: if you’re a liberal or a Democrat, you believe it’s totally true. If you’re a Republican or a conservative, you believe it’s absolute hogwash. That’s right, most people are deciding this based on their political affiliation. That's like saying "I don't care if what I believe is true, I just care if my political agenda will benefit from it or not." Gee, is it really possible that the popular'left-right' way of seeing things has made us all that stupid?
Here’s the deal folks. Global Warming is a scientific phenomenon that should be decided using… SCIENCE. It should be debated by scientists, not by politicians with political motives and agendas. The earth doesn't know what political party you vote for, the kind of music you listen to, or the church you go to or don’t go to. The ozone doesn't know if you’ve had pre-marital sex or smoked pot before, or if you drive a Hummer or a Subaru.
If the average temperature of the earth has been steadily rising since the industrial revolution, then it seems to me there’s a good chance Global Warming could be true. If there is no trend showing an increase global temperatures, then Global Warming may be just a theory without provable grounds. That seems simple to me folks. Just look at the facts without projecting your politics on it first. I don’t know why most people can’t see that.
I’m no scientist, but I can tell you that the planet seems to be getting warmer to me. (It’s also true that I was born in Maryland, grew up in Oklahoma City and moved to Austin in 89, so it might just SEEM the planet is getting warmer to me.)
But here’s the deal: We didn’t have a winter this year, and according to my friends and family in OKC, they didn’t have one either. I spent 16 years in OKC, from 1972 to 1988, and every winter was VERY long and super butt-cold. I remember wind-chill factors of 30 below zero. I remember getting to school with hands so numb from waiting for the bus that I couldn’t hold a pencil the first hour. (Imagine the law suit if that happened to a kid in Austin…) It got cold in early October and stayed butt-cold until April. It snowed a lot every year, and there was NEVER a Christmas in T-shirts and shorts. It just didn’t happen ever, but it does happen now- even in OKC. Winter was clearly the longest season when I was a kid. Every summer was in the low 80’s to low 90’s, and if it got into the high 90’s it was a “heat wave.” The 100’s only happened once or twice a year at the most. Many summers never even saw triple digit temperatures.
But lately it seems like OKC is as hot as here in the summer, sometimes it’s hotter. Winters have been warmer there too. It doesn’t rain nearly as much as it used to here or there. I can also tell you that growing up, Easter was sweater weather at best, and often coats were worn. But the day after Easter here was 100 degrees, and in OKC it was 91. That seems way off kilter to me, folks. A few summers ago, we had 44 days over 100 degrees. If that happens this year, I am definitely moving to Canada.
I can see the immigration interview now… the guard will say “Welcome to Canada, eh. Are you here because you oppose the Iraq war and the fundamentalist Neo-cons in the White House?” “No” I’ll reply. “We come to you rebelling against 100+ degree temperatures and $250 electric bills in the summer. We also dream of raising our son to be an NHL hockey player with the sense of humor of Mike Myers. Also I have a comic strip that occasionally lampoons America, and nobody reads it down there. I'm also tired of working 50 hour weeks as a way of life and having what might be the worst health care system on the planet."
“Oh, well that’s a beauty reason to move to the Great White North" he'll say. Here’s your green card, have a nice day and welcome to Canada.” It could be that easy folks…
(April 8, 2006) Yesterday I went to the Kinky Friedman campaign HQ over on Burleson and signed his petition. I feel pretty good about that. Oh sure, I know he has no chance in hell of becoming governor, and Rick “The Hairdo” Perry will. But I’d still rather use my tiny little vote to be part of the solution, or at least rebel in some humorous way. Perry will win because 95% of Texas counties will vote Republican- a frightening fact that worries me about humanity in general.
It’s not that I think all Republicans are bad, I don’t. I like Ron Paul and John McCain a lot, and I think most people who consider themselves Republicans THINK they are for virtuous reasons- which is fine. And it’s important for us non-Republicans to know that. (Otherwise we’ll go insane believing the nation is being overrun with evil zombies.) But these days it’s so easy to lump all Republicans in the same greedy, self-serving and hypocritical boat. How they’ve become so bullet proof after all they’ve done is beyond me.
Democrats aren’t the solution- they’re as big a part of the problem as the Republicans are. Why? Because it’s THEIR job to supply us with candidates that have a focused, unified vision that the majority of Americans can believe in. The Democrats are SUPPOSED to be the party that stands for the working man and woman, and the average American family- yet they can’t win votes anywhere. How badly do you have to suck for that to happen? The majority of Americans ARE working class folks just two paychecks away from homelessness, yet they keep voting for the party that doesn’t represent them. Explain that one to me, okay? If the Democrats can’t get into the White House or the Governor’s Office, it’s their fault and no one else’s. The Democrats of today aren’t the same party that FDR, Truman and Kennedy were part of. Your parent’s Democrats have long since passed, and the ones that remain are a bunch of fringe whiny tax-fattened bitches, and they can’t get organized to save their lives. No one believes in them anymore. Good luck Hillary, but you’re toast. Just write a book when it’s all done, blame everyone but yourself and take your cankles back to Arkansas.
So this is why I LOVE to support independent and third-party candidates. I usually support the Libertarian Party, but you might like the Greens or someone else. I like Kinky in this election because I can relate to him better than the Libertarian candidate, and I think he would really shake things up. Good or bad, it doesn’t matter to me. Kinky says what he means and shoots from the hip like a real Texan - he doesn’t blabber on meaninglessly like Perry or Keeton-Rylander-Strayhorn-whatever does after years of being politicians. He uses humor to make sense, and he does make sense. If Kinky gets in, it will be an ENTERTAINING four years, I tell you what. He’ll be a national celebrity, and tourism will boom. Texas will still have plenty of problems, but it certainly couldn’t be worse.
(Feb 26th, 2006) On this day in 1994, the world became a lot less funny, and even worse- a lot less intelligent. Societal evolution was dealt a huge blow, as was the world of stand-up comedy. Of course I’m talking about the death of Bill Hicks.
It’s hard to believe 12 years has passed since he left “the ride,” but the good thing is that Bill’s legacy keeps growing. He left a large body of work which continues to find new ears and change new minds and the way we look at life and the world around us. That’s how powerful his material was. He was much more philosophical and enlightening than his peers or for that matter any comic since.
When I was talking with Ed Hamell (Hamell On Trial) a few weeks ago, he told me that when he first started performing his tribute song to Bill Hicks, if he was in front of an American crowd he got little response if any. He always got a huge response with it in the UK and Ireland, but not much over here. Then he told me that as time has gone on, the response from Americans has grown considerably. That’s good news, because America is where Bill’s message is needed most.
In the spirit of “squeegeeing your third eye,” here’s a news story that a friend sent me. Now I really don’t care much about this Dick Cheney shooting thing, but this is food for thought. It may or may not be true, but here it is:
THE RANT
Secret Service agents say Cheney was drunk when he shot lawyer
By DOUG THOMPSON
Secret Service agents guarding Vice President Dick Cheney when he shot Texas lawyer Harry Whittington on a hunting outing two weeks ago say Cheney was "clearly inebriated" at the time of the shooting.
Agents observed several members of the hunting party, including the Vice President, consuming alcohol before and during the hunting expedition, the report notes, and Cheney exhibited "visible signs" of impairment, including slurred speech and erratic actions.
According to those who have talked with the agents and others present at the outing, Cheney was drunk when he gunned down his friend and the day-and-a-half delay in allowing Texas law enforcement officials on the ranch where the shooting occurred gave all members of the hunting party time to sober up.
We talked with a number of administration officials who are privy to inside information on the Vice President's shooting "accident" and all admit Secret Service agents and others say they saw Cheney consume far more than the "one beer' he claimed he drank at lunch earlier that day.
"This was a South Texas hunt," says one White House aide. "Of course there was drinking. There's always drinking. Lots of it."
One agent at the scene has been placed on administrative leave and another requested reassignment this week. A memo reportedly written by one agent has been destroyed, sources said Wednesday afternoon.
Cheney has a long history of alcohol abuse, including two convictions of driving under the influence when he was younger. Doctors tell me that someone like Cheney, who is taking blood thinners because of his history of heart attacks, could get legally drunk now after consuming just one drink.
If Cheney was legally drunk at the time of the shooting, he could be guilty of a felony under Texas law and the shooting, ruled an accident by a compliant Kenedy County Sheriff, would be a prosecutable offense.
But we will never know for sure because the owners of the Armstrong Ranch, where the shooting occurred, barred the sheriff's department from the property on the day of the shooting and Kenedy County Sheriff Ramon Salinas III agreed to wait until the next day to send deputies in to talk to those involved.
Sheriff's Captain Charles Kirk says he went to the Armstrong Ranch immediately after the shooting was reported on Saturday, February 11 but both he and a game warden were not allowed on the 50,000-acre property. He called Salinas who told him to forget about it and return to the station.
"I told him don't worry about it. I'll make a call," Salinas said. The sheriff claims he called another deputy who moonlights at the Armstrong ranch, said he was told it was "just an accident" and made the decision to wait until Sunday to investigate.
"We've known these people for years. They are honest and wouldn't call us, telling us a lie," Salinas said.
Like all elected officials in Kenedy County, Salinas owes his job to the backing and financial support of Katherine Armstrong, owner of the ranch and the county's largest employer.
"The Armstrongs rule Kenedy County like a fiefdom," says a former employee.
Secret Service officials also took possession of all tests on Whittington's blood at the hospitals where he was treated for his wounds. When asked if a blood alcohol test had been performed on Whittington, the doctors who treated him at Christus Spohn Hospital Memorial in Corpus Christi or the hospital in Kingsville refused to answer. One admits privately he was ordered by the Secret Service to "never discuss the case with the press."
It's a sure bet that is a private doctor who treated the victim of Cheney's reckless and drunken actions can't talk to the public then any evidence that shows the Vice President drunk as a skunk will never see the light of day.
(Feb 19th, 2006) Haddy folks. Been pretty busy lately, life has thrown a lot my direction in the last month or so. Some good, some not so good, some very bad. Life is a journey and this is a time of challenges. But I’d rather talk about the good things, and my friends Russ and Wendy of Austin Daze fame have been very good to me. They hooked me up with a free pass to the recent Folk Alliance conference and organized an interview with one of my biggest heroes, Ed Hamell. Ed, who is better known as “Hamell On Trial” has just released a new album called “Songs For Parents Who Enjoy Drugs.” Maria Mesa will be reviewing that CD in the next Daze issue, which will come out around April. Here’s a pic of me and my son Max hanging out with Ed:
Later on, we got to see Arlo Guthrie play and tell some of his classic stories. Here’s a pic I took of him:
A few days later, we saw Ed Hamell do an instore at Waterloo, and he talked to us a bit. He remembered us very well, talked to us about “Maria” and just loved Max. He really liked Max, probably because he misses his son Detroit. I told him that he and I were in the same situation. I think he probably forgot us by now, but he definitely remembers Max. Here’s a pic Steph took at the instore:
When I get back, the wife and I will do a crash course in turning the new Austin Daze office into a classic South Austin art space. I’m told I will even get to hang some of my own art in the place for opening night. Life is good, eh?
(Jan 8th, 2006) I can’t remember exactly when it was, but sometime in the late 80's everybody started wearing these “Hard Rock Café” T-shirts. They would have a specific city on them like London, New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, or some other town that’s supposed to be cooler or more prestigious than yours. Then came the jackets, tote bags, stickers, all kinds of things. Yep, the folks sporting that crap sure were cool.
Probably around 1998 or so, I finally went into one. I don’t remember where it was, San Antonio perhaps? I just remember you could have a $12 burger, a $4 Budweiser and sit amongst a bunch of classic rock memorabilia. That’s cool, I guess. But if you walked up to a glass case containing the Stratocaster that Eric Clapton recorded Layla on, burger grease on your hands and a slight beer buzz going, is that really cool? Sure it is if that Stat were on display at Ray Hennig’s Heart of Texas, or if it was at your friend’s house. But is it really cool if it’s held as bait to make you eat at an overpriced corporate theme restaurant? I mean what’s the difference between Chili’s or Bennigan’s and Hard Rock Café except the décor? The cost of that Strat turns a $5 burger into a $12, and then you have to feel sad that such a wonderful guitar has to sit there of all places, totally silent forever. It's meaningless really, it was Eric's hands, heart and soul that made Layla, the guitar is just another guitar.
So I think it’s cool that the Hard Rock Café in Austin has finally closed it’s doors. I admit that when it first opened up I thought it sorta helped to put Atown on the map, and when the Tower Records opened up on the drag I thought the same thing about that too. But now they’re both gone, and who needs ‘em. Both of those companies were just trendy flash-in-the-pans, even if the flash lasted for a while. But neither had anything to do with Austin, and neither were as cool as Austin. That’s why they’re gone and Austin’s spirit and coolness still remains. Sure, some people will think that Austin “lost” those companies, but those people are morons. I’m glad that the majority of folks who live here knew that the Hard Rock Café had nothing to offer them. There’s only one reason they closed- Austinites have better places to go, and most of those places are locally owned. Why else would companies like those fail in a city whose population continues to grow? And I'm pretty sure the HRC and Tower Records still thrives in some of those more prestigious cities, which only says that the folks who live in those towns still think they have something cool to be gained by going there instead of one of their own local places. Too bad for them, I guess.
Here's an idea... Now that the corporate bastards are gone, wouldn't either of those places be a perfect location for the rebirth of Liberty Lunch or the Steamboat? How about Club Foot or the Beach Cabaret? Hell, let's go all out and resurrect the grandaddy of them all- the Armadillo World Headquarters!!! Why not? This is our town, let's organize the right people, get the word around and make it happen! Call some local bazillionaire and get the check written. I bet even Eddie Wilson of Threadgills fame could afford to start it. Just remember that if it DOES happen, you heard it here first.
(Jan 5th, 2005) Great big fat CONGRATS to the Texas Longhorns! Okay, maybe I’m not a big football fan, but this year I couldn’t help but get caught up in the hysteria. It’s hard not to get excited since the Horns have never really amounted to much as long as I’ve been here.
I loved watching those prima donna USC boys get their egos crushed. The media was totally biased and no one expected a bunch of hayseeds from Texas to come to LA and take what those spoilt California boys thought was undoubtedly theirs. The talking heads talked way too much about USC, and even when the game was over they STILL ran up to interview the Trojans. Their all-American prettyboy quarterback Leinart started his speech: “It was a hard-fought win...” and suddenly he stopped, stammered and said “Uh, I mean loss.” Gotta love it.
Another great moment was late in the 4th quarter. It looked like the Horns were all but buried and the Trojans already celebrating their win, and they showed Vince Young spying the field to set up the next play. The look in his eyes wasn’t fear, disappointment or any of that. The look said “I’m going to win this thing if I have to do it all by myself, cause it ain’t over til it’s over!” And that’s practically what he did.
Of course there were some moments I had a hard time with since I’m used to watching hockey- like the sloppy way they control the clock in football, or the two touchdowns that to me looked out-of-bounds, or the one where the Texas player’s knee was on the ground BEFORE he threw the pass to his team mate who went in for the TD. The officiating in the NHL seems a lot better, in spite of the fact that hockey is much faster. Hockey players also seem to make much better split-second decisions than football players- but don’t get me started… The point is that the hometown heroes brought home the national championship, that’s what matters.
But what sweeten it for me is that I’ve never liked Los Angeles. So much of what ruins our culture comes from there, and yes, I’ve been there twice. It’s where our music gets corrupted, all of the horrible TV shows and rotten movies are made, Disney, you name it. It’s the place that influences teenage girls to become anorexic and teenage boys to dream of packing a 9mm and becoming a Crip or a Blood. It promotes violence and drugs and the lust for easy money. Yes, LA dumbs down our culture more than any other single city in the nation- INCLUDING Detroit. So I couldn’t imagine a better city for such a heartbreak to happen to. Hook’em Horns!!!
(Dec 20th, 2005) The Zilker Park Christmas Tree was first started in 1965. This year the City of Austin officially changed its name to the “Zilker Park Moontower Tree” in an effort of political correctness. Many other cities got the same memo and did a similar re-naming of their trees. The idea of course is that the word “Christmas” might be offensive to folks of other religions, or of no religion. A more generic name would make them feel less excluded, or more included. This issue seems to have some people so balled up, you’d think the fabric of our society is being ripped to shreds, and Satan is about to inherit the Earth.
Seems like there are two concepts involved here: Majority Rule, and Separation of Church and State. (Or for typing ease- SCS.) One school of thought is that since the majority of Americans are Christians, and the majority rules in a democracy, it should be fine to use the term “Christmas” with this and anything else related to December 25th. People of other or no religious faith should accept that they are the minority and take a position of tolerance. Besides, if you lived in Israel, and someone at a store wished you “Happy Chanukah,” would you be offended? I’d just think they wished me something happy and chose to include me in their culture. I wouldn’t care what their government’s stance on SCS is; it’s just a person wishing me something good. If I moved to Iraq and a stranger wished me a Merry Ramadan, I wouldn’t be offended. I’d smile and wish them a Merry Ramadan back, and feel accepted in their culture too. “What a warm and welcoming bunch those Iraqis are” I’d say to myself. But for some reason, if you offer the same thing to a stranger in the good ol’ USA, they might get pissy on you. They might think you’re oppressing them somehow. Are we expected to be psychic and know what the religious or non-religious status of a total stranger is?
If I’m in a store and someone says “Happy Holidays,” it doesn’t offend me. They are simply wishing me the happy holiday of my choice, or even better happiness on ALL of them. Wow, that’s a lot of happiness! Who could get mad at that? Take a lesson from Kinky Friedman who sports a T-shirt saying “May the God of Your Choice Bless You.” If anything it’s funny, but hardly offensive. I mean how tight does your sphincter have to be to hear a person say “Happy Holidays” and think they said “I reject Christmas and Christianity because my corporate office told me to.” The most cynical thing I can gather from “Happy Holidays” is “We don’t care what you believe so long as you spend your money here.” Or maybe “Everyone in this country is WAY uptight about religion, so they asked me to say something non-religious, and now that’s a bad thing too. Please don’t hit me, I only make $7 an hour.” Another reason ‘Happy Holidays’ doesn’t offend me is because I know that Christmas is one of the holidays they’re talking about. That is common knowledge, right? I mean lighten up Christians; if everyone else needs to chill out, YOU do too. (But if it actually was December 25th and someone said “Happy Holiday!” I’d probably grab them in a headlock and force them to call it by its proper name.)
The other school of thought is that our forefathers wrote this in our Constitution: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” (Interesting note: The term “Separation of Church and State” does not exist anywhere in there.) It means just what it says- Congress cannot make laws that establish any one particular religion. Seems to me they didn’t mention anything about city or state offices, although maybe they should have. And I don’t think the tree was ever a “law” to begin with. So if Austin wanted to make a tree and call it “Christmas,” there’s nothing constitutional that says they can’t.
The reason the forefathers created SCS was to prevent a Theocracy from occurring. They didn’t want our government to outlaw or censor a particular religion, force you to believe in a particular religion, make laws based on a specific religious text, give political power to a priest, pastor, rabbi or witch doctor, or persecute people based on their personal religious views. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think they created it to censor us from being able to use a term like “Christmas tree” so that an intolerant and hyper-sensitive minority of folks would be protected. They had just run away from the tyrannical oppression of the Church of England, and since they were setting up a “melting pot” society, it made no sense to them for our government to establish a national religion. Wisely, they decided that religion was none of government’s business; they’d probably just screw it up anyhow. Let’s leave the screwing up of religion to the churches. But at the same time our forefathers (mostly Christians) were doing this, they added “In God We Trust” to our currency.
Pretty confusing bunch, those forefathers- but they would say the same about us. They could never have guessed how complicated things would eventually get here. It was 230 years ago, so given that I’d say they did the best job they could, but eventually two basic principles would butt heads. In this case, I don’t see any other way- one will have to give way to the other. So which one? The winner should be whichever is most central to the basic existence of a democracy. Is that Majority Rule or Separation of Church and State?
If you ask me I’d say Majority Rule wins, and it should never bow down to anything- ever. It’s a clear and simple idea, and the most basic element of a democracy. That’s why we vote and have a representational form of government. It’s the concept that is SUPPOSED to keep the power in the hands of the people and OUT of the hands of government or any other group with a special interest- even though everyone has forgotten all about that. Majority Rule protects us from extremist wackos on far left OR the far right, although I don’t think it was meant to oppress either one. To me the concept of Separation of Church and State is just a bonus. Although SCS works very well most of the time, there can be certain occasions where maintaining it either isn’t possible, or causes more harm than good.
Majority Rule is clear and simple, but SCS can be very grey and complicated and could easily be taken to unrealistic lengths. For example, if you ask any person of any religion, they would tell you that most of the important decisions they make are based on those beliefs. They would also say that it is impossible for them to separate themselves from their beliefs- it simply is who they are. Therefore it could be decided that religious people are too ‘under the influence’ to be allowed in government office, and the only way to be sure there is no religious influence is to require that only Atheists need apply. That is the only way to achieve total SCS. But in a country where maybe less than 10% are true Atheists, that would make no sense. Not in a democracy anyway. So it must be accepted that total SCS is an unattainable goal, and was probably meant to be applied in a very basic way, rather than the all-encompassing infallible law pop culture today thinks it is.
But if we were really worried about people feeling excluded, there’s a better way to fix that. If the Jewish community felt slighted that only a Christmas tree stands in Zilker park, instead of treating everyone like morons by calling it a “Holiday tree,” we should diplomatically say “It would be an honor if you would build a giant Menorah right next to our Christmas tree.” And when the Muslim community sees a giant Christmas tree next to a giant Menorah, before they have time to strap on the explosives we should say “Glad you’re here! We would be honored if you would build a giant Crescent Moon and Star thingy, or the Ramadan symbol of your choice.” I mean if you really want people to feel included, INCLUDE them! Ask them to participate and make them feel genuinely welcome- don’t just dumb things down and continue on like nothing ever happened. Do you think Hindus feel any more welcomed by a Christmas tree if it’s simply called a “Holiday” tree? It still has the “Angel of the Lord” or the “Star of Bethlehem” on top of it! It’s like putting up a giant wooden cross and saying “Giant cross? What giant cross? That’s a Holiday Wooden Intersection.” They know what it is, you know what it is, quit dumbing things down and treating people like morons.
If we laid down the welcome mat to everyone, Austinites of all religions might be standing around in Zilker Park together. And if Atheists felt left out, we can say “Please build a giant Darwinian winter solstice symbol of your choice.” And being Austin, it wouldn’t stop there. In the time it takes a band to set up- there’d be a statue of Eeyore, one of SRV, a giant model of a plate of Tex-Mex, and a 40 foot bottle of Shiner Bock, and a sign that says “Remember the Armadillo.” Maria’s Arms would magically re-appear, a giant pot leaf would be constructed, along with some Grateful Dead bears and a 1966 Volkswagen Microbus. Leslie would be there posing for pictures with tourists, and everyone would feel included and nothing would be censored or dumbed down. Can’t you just smell the patchouli and incense wafting through the pine needles?
But the real truth is this: the whole thing is just another distraction from things that really matter. Let’s all get balled up over Gay Marriage or removing Jesus from Christmas, and forget about things like going to war for “bad intelligence” (read: corporate opportunities) having our pants down on 9/11, drug companies getting us all hooked on overpriced drugs we don’t even need, FEMA’s bungling of Katrina, or having our rights taken away from us by a federal government that continues to grow and become more invasive and less effective every day. And don’t even think about the militarization of our local police force, or how an unarmed kid can get shot in the back by a rookie cop. That would be looking at the BIG picture. It’s much more fun to zoom in on a tiny insignificant non-problem and blow it way out of proportion, isn’t it?
I went long and I apologize. Let me sum up: If someone wishes you a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Eid ul-Fitr, or Happy Festivus, and you respond with anything less than a smile and a genuine wish of good will- you’re the asshole. It doesn’t matter what your belief system is. It doesn’t matter if they’re funamentalists from Westlake, recent immigrants from Pakistan, or Pagans from South Congress. They just wished you something good in a way that makes sense to them, so be gracious, accept it and wish them something good in return. “Happy Holidays” does not necessarily mean “I reject Christianity, you Bible-thumping Republican sheep!” and “Merry Christmas” does not necessarily mean “I am oppressing you with my jugemental religious views, you liberal scumbag!” To see anyone’s holiday greeting as a reason to be offended means you’re an uptight bunghole with no sense of humor. YOU’RE what’s wrong with America today, not them. Lighten up people. It's just like what Clayton Williams said about being raped: "as long as it's inevitable, you might as well lie back and enjoy it."
Merry Christmas from Atown Comics.
(Dec. 10th, 2005) I just found out that Richard Pryor died last night. My initial reaction was one of deep sadness, but then I realized I shouldn’t feel that way. Richard Pryor had a terrific life which he lived on his terms against tremendous odds. He was a skinny little guy that roared like a lion. He threw jokes around like bombs, and he got away with it only because deep down you could tell he was just a nice genuine guy tellin’ it like it really is. He opened the door for so many other folks, and helped to teach America to have a sense of humor about things thought to be taboo. I also shouldn’t feel sad because the last 10 years or so he was in frail health, so his passing is really a great relief.
A long time ago, my brother and I collected comedy albums. Being kids of the late 70’s and early 80’s, they were mostly by Cheech and Chong, George Carlin, Monty Python, Steve Martin and of course- Richard Pryor. I think comedy albums were so popular in the 70’s because people simply wanted and needed to laugh more. The 60’s were such a serious time with Viet Nam, the assassinations of JFK, MLK and RFK, civil rights riots and such. By the time the 70’s came along, disco started and everyone just wanted to party and laugh again. This was the time when Richard Pryor was king and on top of his game. It’s no wonder he spawned a generation of comedians- not all of which were black.
I always claim that Bill Hicks was the greatest comedian to ever stalk a stage. I say that mostly because he helped me re-discover comedy as an adult, and because I relate to him on a more personal and spiritual level. But the truth is that Richard Pryor deserves that title. Even though Bill Hicks is the secret weapon that most comics working today steal from, more comics exist because of Richard Pryor than because of Bill. And if Bill were here today- I’m sure he’d agree.
Being black was something that Richard Pryor used to his advantage. By doing so, he set an example to Black America that it was possible to be truthful, relevant, successful and BLACK all at the same time. But when he was up there in his element, in the spotlight with a microphone and firing on all cylinders- being black was irrelevant. The only thing that mattered was that he was a comic genius who could relate to everyone. That’s why he deserves the crown.
(Nov 25th, 2005) I hope that being a cartoonist gives me almost the same freedom to be offensive that comedians enjoy. I hope I can say anything I want, and when they take me to court I can just say “Sure I told him to kill his mother. But I was just kidding. I am a cartoonist, after all.” And the jury will most likely let me go. I mean how dumb do you have to be to follow the advice of a comedian or a cartoonist? But let me assure you that I am not joking now.
I’m not a terrorist, but if YOU are, I have a request. Sometime today- like right now- go blow yourself up in a shopping mall. I’m not picky, any one of them will do. Use high explosives and fill your pockets with rusty nails for maximum casualties. Today is the day after Thanksgiving, it’s one of the three busiest shopping days of the year. Can you imagine how many Lincoln Navigators and Cadillac Escalades with those “Tyler- Soccer” and “Courtney- Dance” stickers there are at the mall right now? Well, after 9,000 pounds of flaming shrapnel goes ripping through there, you’d be hard pressed to see one of those on the road in front of you come Monday morning. I know, you think I’m being funny. But there’s nothing funny about these massive gas guzzlers with braggadocio brat stickers clogging the streets on their way to their prestigious gated Westlake communities.
There are three days that this needs to happen: Today, Christmas Eve, and the day after Christmas. Actually, if you have to pick one, please blow the mall up the day AFTER Christmas. The reason is that most of those spoilt ungrateful brats are there exchanging their gifts for cash or something else. See, their Grandma did something nice for them, and they can’t wait ‘til the mall opens so they can secretly go and un-do it. They don’t feel the least bit of shame standing there in that huge line with all the other snot nosed brats doing exactly the same thing. That’s a reason to die if you ask me.
Not only will the massive luxury SUV’s disappear, but you just wait until the next election. I don’t have to tell you what political demographic clogged the malls bright and early, gold MasterCard in hand. You know it, I know it, the terrorists know it. Seems like a simple fix if you ask me, one that would make us all happy. Now enjoy the traffic every weekend until January, and know that it doesn’t have to be that way. Happy Holidays!
(Nov 19th, 2005) Normally I don’t care much about birthdays and I’m not the type who likes to throw parties- at least ones that are in honor of ME. I guess I was born without the “look at me!” gene. But this time the wife wanted to throw one and she seemed pretty dead set on it. I had no idea why, but okay, why not.
It wasn’t huge, maybe 20 or so people. One of the surprises was that my brother and his wife from Phoenix came in, which was really cool. The other honored guests were Russ and Wendy of Austin Daze, it was really cool to have them there. The rest of the folks were neighbors and co-workers, my crazy Aunt Sharon, etc.
At one point the wife gets me in the center of the room and kills the music. I suddenly realize everyone is looking at us, as if they knew something was going to happen. Then she puts a blindfold on me and I’m trying to be a good sport but thinking “Oh God, no annoying party games please!” Then she starts turning me around and gets everyone to count the revolutions and I’m going “Not some kind of pin-the-tail on the whatever senario, anything but that!” Then she stops me and removes the blindfold, and my brother is standing there with an open case containing a shiny new Geddy Lee signature edition Fender Jazz Bass. With the hardshell case, this should retail around $775. That was NOT what I expected!
Steph is a stay-at-home mom, she has no real money to speak of. We’re on one income now and barely getting by with the higher than necessary bills we may have acquired and a house slightly beyond our means. No one else in the family was going to spring for something like this. What I didn’t think about was that Steph would contact people in my family and hers, and organize about 10 people to chip in. A few phone calls and emails later and I now have a new bass. (Special thanks to Ian McGarvie for selling Steph on the hardshell upgrade.)
I had been hankering for a classic old Fender Jazz for a while. Unfortunately the original late 60’s early 70’s models are going for around $2,000 to $4,000 depending on condition, so that wasn’t going to happen. The new American Jazz basses are around $1,000 and have a few unfavorable design issues like the 3 bolt neck instead of 4, and the stock bridge instead of the “Badass” bridge. Fortunately, Fender makes 2 similar signature basses- the Geddy Lee and the Marcus Miller. Both are re-creations of early 70’s models and play very nice. The Marcus has active circuitry and a few other add-ons that make it a bit more expensive. The Geddy is more of a bare bones Jazz with passive circuitry.
What sold me on the Geddy was that the neck was really thin and narrow, making the area closer to the nut where the fret spacing is bigger easy to play. I really liked that feel, and no other variation of Jazz bass seemed to have it. (My other bass is an old Spector, and its neck is fat like gripping a baseball bat.) The Geddy’s action is also very low and fast. The tone is so close to that bright, warm, raspy 70’s art rock sound- sort of like a Rickenbacker. It seems to have that sound even when it’s not plugged in.
I researched online, and no one seemed to have anything bad to say about it. I also like that I can upgrade things very easily, like better pickups and active preamps, different pickguards for a unique look, whatever. Plenty of options are available. And since it’s not a genuine relic from the past, I can feel free to do whatever I want with it without spoiling a collector’s item.
So all things considered, it was the best birthday ever. The other part that was cool was watching 10 month old Max sporting a Hawaiian shirt doing quite well on his own in a crowd. He didn’t get scared or anything. He played with some other kids who were around 3 and 7 years old. He got a little fussy later on, but no biggie.
(Nov 16th, 2005) Howdy folks. Here's a reprint of a rant I did almost exactly two years ago. I guess it's relevant because of our recent STEP BACKWARDS by approving Proposition 2 thus cementing the ban against gay marriage. It's not so much that I'm for gays getting married as I am against the issue being used as a diversion from much more important problems. But I am proud to live a stone's throw outside Travis county- the one place in Texas that (as a friend put it) "still loves it's queers" and turned the stupid thing down!
(Nov 21st, 2003) Attention all Americans, pay no attention to the war behind the curtain. Here, watch this Laci Peterson story. You want war news? Uh, no, how
about the latest 'Michael Jackson distraction' instead. You want clear and accurate unbiased reporting on Iraq? Um, we're sorry, but our demographics show that the average American viewer is much more interested in the Elisabeth Smart faux-kidnapping story, the Jessica Lynch faux-hero story, the Phil Spector murder story, or a hundred other
pre-manufactured media distractions. Like Bill Hicks said, "watching TV is like taking black spray paint to your third eye."
Speaking of distractions, what's all this controversy about gay marriage? Why are the so-called "right wing Republicans" so upset about it? I mean how many people are we really talking about here? I heard once that 12% of Americans are gay. If so, of that 12% how many really WANT to be married? Slightly less than half maybe? So gay marriage
might really only apply to 5% of Americans, probably less. Even if your math is different, it's still a very small percentage.
Those who oppose it say they are doing so to protect the "sanctity of marriage." If they were really worried about that, they'd be focusing their efforts on saving the 51% of regular heterosexual marriages that fail, resulting in broken homes, poorly raised kiddos, stressed out families and nasty legal battles. That's a much bigger problem effecting the lives of far more
people than gay marriages ever will. But instead they're focusing on this non-existent "problem" of gay marriage. It's like they think the fabric of American society will begin to unravel if some state issues a certificate to a gay couple. Folks, that don't make no sense. Even if gay marriage was a problem- which it ain't- we have far worse things to
deal with in the real world.
I say we pick a few states with a high population of gay people, California and Florida perhaps, and legalize it there. Give them five years and see what happens. If gay couples who get married have a lower divorce rate after five years than that of heterosexual couples in the same state, then it would seem to me that gay people might care more
about the "sanctity of marriage" than we do. If that's true, then the right wingers are barking up the wrong tree and gay marriage should be legalized nationally. (Well, with the exception of Oklahoma, since they'll just do whatever the Baptist majority tells them to do anyhow.)
We get so worked up in this country about the most meaningless things, and this is one of 'em. It's not like they're proposing that your pastor, priest or rabbi will suddenly be forced by law to conduct gay weddings in your church, and everyone must attend. All they want is a
legal document and a few employee benefits. That's not a lot to ask in the 'land of freedom' if you think about it. Besides, like Clayton Williams said about rape- if it's inevitable you might as well just lay back and enjoy it. It's only a matter of time before it's legal anyhow,
so get used to it.
I've heard the argument. (Insert whiny sounding voice here) "We don't want our tax dollars to benefit homosexual couples. The Bible says homosexuality is immoral, so we don't want to be forced to support it." Problem there is, our forefathers came up with this thing called "separation of church and state." That means our Government doesn't necessarily have to follow EVERY little thing the Bible, the Koran, the
Talmud, or the Tao Te Ching says. Instead, our Government has the responsibility of creating harmony in a nation of many religions, many faiths, or even the lack of faith altogether. Our Government is (supposedly) ruled by the people, not by any religion, no matter how right it may be. Therefore, it has a greater responsibility to the values of the people as a whole than their religions. But all of this really brings us to the earlier point- which is that it's just another media distraction anyway.
Our tax dollars are already being used to support FAR more "horrific" things than gay marriage. The fact that these people are offended by the 'possibility' their tax dollars might somehow benefit gays just shows how little attention they're paying to other things taxes are being used
for. I'd say this issue is WAY low on the list. It's somewhere below the militarization of your local police department, the exponentially expanding Federal Government, rights that we lose almost daily, tax welfare given to corrupt Corporations while a million or so people are homeless, computerized voting fraud sponsored by Diebold coming to a ballot box near you, or the one world government our leaders are pursuing, known affectionately as the "New World Order." Um, just to name a few.
Yes folks, there are so many things happening in the world right now that threaten all of us, yet the big issue of the day is "gay marriage." That's just one more reason America is like a huge ship sailing off into the horizon, filled with people TOTALLY unaware that the world is flat and they're all about to fall right off
the edge...
(Nov. 2nd, 2005) Today is Rosa Parks day. It’s good that she’s getting the grand funeral that she is, because unlike a lot of civil rights figures, she deserves it. Rosa Parks will be remembered as a graceful and dignified yet simple woman who decided to take a stand. She didn’t seek the spotlight before or after the incident that made her famous. Today Jesse Jackson called her the “Mother of the New America.” That is political grandstanding at its finest. Rosa Parks was nothing more than a factory worker who one day decided enough was enough.
Unfortunately, tons of politicians- in particular Democrats- decided to take the photo opportunity of eulogizing Rosa Parks, a woman most of them didn’t personally know. They’re doing it to gain the Black vote, which for them is a pretty valuable thing. Can’t these politicians gain the Black vote through something they actually do in their political careers to improve people’s lives instead of riding Rosa Parks’ coattails?
The important thing to remember about Rosa Parks is her simplicity. She wasn’t a political figure. She was an every day woman that decided to take a stand. That’s the motivating factor behind who she was. The statement she made was that anyone could make change happen. It was good that her gesture and following arrest made history because millions will learn from it. Her motives were pure and honest. And after that brief moment in the spotlight, she returned to her simple life because that is who she really was. That is how she should be remembered.
Instead, all kinds of people are making grand statements, all trying to top each other for the prized spot. If you ask me, I think all of the eulogies should have been left to her family and close friends- the folks who really knew her and her every day life. They would probably say that Rosa Parks loved her flower garden and made really great tea and cookies. They would tell you how much she enjoyed reading, or spending time with children. They would remember what kind music she listened to or how she knitted the best sweaters and blankets. They would tell you how she had a silly sense of humor that only they would know about. That’s who Rosa Parks REALLY was- and the politicians giving speeches wouldn’t know or care anything about that.
(Oct. 28th, 2005) I’m not an anti-corporate person, and I understand that most American corporations do more good than bad. Most operate within the laws, employ hundreds of thousands of people, provide health insurance and retirement plans, offer huge contributions to charities, and are good neighbors in their communities. Most of them, that is. And I think it’s important that we all understand that, because it’s easy to lump them all together. But the vast majority of us owe our jobs and our high standard of living to the American corporation. Complain as we might, we can only bite the hand that feeds us so hard without being total hypocrites.
Unless of course you’ve figured out a way to live WITHOUT corporate America, but I doubt it. Bought gas lately? Paid your electric bill? Have a TV? A cell phone? See any movies lately? Read any books? Are those Levis jeans you’re wearing? Nike’s on your feet? I thought so. The fact that you have a computer to read this on is proof enough. We all feed the beast; some more than others. You really can’t avoid it so don’t feel bad. The only folks among us NOT benefiting from Corporate America are standing at the intersection with a piece of cardboard in their hand. Wait a minute- a lot of them smoke cigarettes and slam 40 ounces under overpasses. Nevermind.
But then there are the Enrons and Halliburtons, the “Rogue Corporations.” Fueled by greed and corruption, these behemoths secretly operate beyond the law, hiding behind creative smoke screens and loop holes and cooked books. Their stock holders are big time politicians who look the other way because they make money by doing so. They define all that went wrong with Capitalism, and our Founding Fathers never dreamed of anything so perverted. And there is no bigger poster child of that than Big Oil. Without them, the whole world comes to a screeching halt- and boy do they know it.
It’s frightening that this is where the majority of the Bush administration comes from. They all benefit directly from oil profits and stocks. This summer when gas prices skyrocketed into never seen before territories, they had great excuses. Hurricanes that shut down refineries, Saudi Arabians hiking prices on their end. Whatever they said, we bought it. I mean it has to be true, the TV said it was. They wanted us to believe it’s beyond their control because oil is now harder and more expensive to produce, and they are simply passing along those costs to the consumer. Nothing wrong with that, they have to survive too, right? Poor, poor oil and gas companies. We will share your burden in these tough times.
But now the truth comes out. Stories of huge 3rd quarter profits are in the papers, on TV and online. Never seen before, mind-numbing profits. PROFITS mind you, not just huge sales figures which would be a natural by-product associated with higher costs even if they weren’t making much money. We’re talking straight into their pockets take-home PROFITS. The kind that buys thousand acre ranches and 9,000 square foot vacation homes overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The kind that employ maids and butlers and chauffeurs and groundskeepers and private chefs. Yes, oil executives and stock holders are sportin’ huge woodies all across the fruited plains. While other families have been torn apart by disaster and much of New Orleans is still uninhabitable, they’re giddy and laughing all the way.
Meanwhile the American Family, and Joe and Josephine Six-Pack are footin’ the bill. It’s like a gift we fork over to them every time we gas up. Gotta get to work, don’t ya? And those high gas prices move on to everything really, because it takes gas to get it from the factory to the store. Are we really supposed to believe that the Bush family oil ties are just a coincidence? Am I cynical for thinking that Bush just might have helped create an environment where such things could happen? You know, it’s his last term, he’s a lame duck and dead in the polls, so the least he can do is “thank” the cronies that got him there while he still can. He certainly isn’t objecting to the high prices, is he?
Sorry little Timmy, Mom and Dad can’t afford to pile into the station wagon and take you to see Grandma and Grandpa this year, they’re just too far away. They weren’t last year, but they sure are now. No annual trip to the Grand Canyon either. Let’s just pitch a tent and go camping in the back yard instead. Just think of what wonderful family memories we’ll be making with the fire ants there.
Worse than obscene profiteering is this: the fattened hyenas in the oil business keep alternative energy sources from becoming viable options. I’m not saying that there is a single better option for replacing fossil fuels right now, but there are many options if combined, could take a very large chunk out of the oil and gas we are using. Wind farms, solar farms, hydrogen fuel cells, bio-diesel, there are plenty of options. But if any of those become successful and readily available, certain people currently in power and currently raking in millions with the current system will see that as a threat. I believe that these people have done everything they can to keep oil and gas the ONLY option we have. Doing that is not in the best interest of America or the world. It’s not where our future lies.
Oil and gas comes to us at a huge cost. Not only financially, but environmentally, politically and now- militarily. Do we really need to be sending billions of dollars to the Middle East, westernizing Mecca and spreading hatred across the Islamic world? Is it worth it? Technology has always been on our side. If we created the atom bomb, put a dude on the moon, surely we can create a clean, reliable energy source at a reasonable cost. If we did that, wouldn’t we be saying “Bye bye Middle-East!” at the same time? Wanting to do that isn’t a “hippy” thing or a liberal thing or a “green” thing. It’s simply a smart thing, right? It’s something we can do and should have done already. But we haven’t. Why is that?
I’m not against people getting rich. If you work hard and you work smart, you deserve a bunch of money. That’s the American Dream and to some degree, we all want that. It’s a good dream too, because it motivates most of us to become educated and set goals for ourselves. But there’s a big difference between that and those that get insanely rich doing evil and unethical things simply because there haven’t been laws written yet to keep them from doing it. And the Bush family is one of those families who have been trailblazing in those territories for generations.
I can just imagine that with every third or fourth cast, dubya would snag a bloated dead body that just happened to be floating by. He'd go "Nuts!" and Daddy Bush would tease him about it. He'd slowly pull the corpse along side the boat and a Secret Serviceman would pull the hook out, and push the body away with a stick. Well, that's my mental image anyway, and I'm sticking with it.
(Oct 5th, 2005) Folks, it’s a wonderful day for several reasons. Now I know the odds of anyone reading this being a hockey fan are slim, but you should know that the NHL’s 2005-06 season begins TONIGHT. It’s special for many reasons, but mainly because the league is returning after missing the last season- which has never happened in the league’s history. The NHL will be breaking that drought with 15 games by 30 teams starting tonight. The wife and I have renewed our NHL center ice package, and nearly all of those will be available in living colour. In addition to that, the league’s newest superstar will skate his first shift with the Pittsburg Penguins. Sidney Crosby, still wet behind his ears at 18, will be the center of the number one line edging out Mario Lemieux from that position. Amazing- yes it’s true.
It’s also a great day because a cold front is coming towards us pushing out that nasty autumnal heat wave which should bring us down to bone chilling highs in the 80’s. No more 100’s for us. Fall weather is finally here!
It’s also a great day because it’s our 3rd wedding anniversary. Yes, on this day 3 years ago, we made the big commitment, and to show our hockey geekdom- we honeymooned in Toronto, Canada. We had tickets for the Maple Leaf’s opening night game at the Air Canada Centre. It was a great experience. Fans all wearing blue and white, faces painted, and the whole city was aglow with hockey. Football, baseball and basketball were nowhere to be found. They started the night with about 100 highland bagpipers on the ice and a rendition of "Oh Canada" that brought tears to our eyes.
Here in Austin, the CHL’s Austin Ice Bats are starting their 10th season, and we have something we’ve never had: a head coach with experience. Oh sure, we’ve had plenty of coaches with big careers as players, former NHL guys and such. But none have had years of coaching experience at an equal or higher level, so I’m really glad we were able to get Bill McDonald. So far he has managed to build what appears on paper to be an impressive team. I regret that for financial reasons, and because of my stupid work schedule, and because of our 8 ½ month old’s sleeping schedule- I had to discontinue my season tickets for the first time since the first professional game of hockey was ever played in this town.
But this is my favorite time of year. It’s good for all sports. Obviously what’s on everyone else’s minds would be football, and I admit I have been a little interested in college ball the last few seasons. The World Series is just around the corner too. It’s a grand distraction from the stuff that’s been going on in the world, the news and in American politics. Sports, and especially hockey- is a wonderful, beautiful thing.
(Sept. 28th 2005) A big fat Happy Birthday goes out to Janeane Garofalo, who I believe turned 41 today, and what a nice looking 41 she is. I heard a rumor that she’s back to drinking again, which she stopped doing shortly after 9/11. I always preferred the pre- 9/11 Janeane anyhow, a double Bushmills in one hand, cigarette in the other, and sarcasm flying out of her mouth. Sobriety made her way too serious, she got way too skinny and bleached her hair blonde. What kind of Janeane is that? Skinny and blonde? She is first and foremost a comedian, and with her humor intact she could also be painfully truthful and get away with it. Without the humor, she’s just another angry voice, spewing bitterness on the airwaves. Janeane is much better than that.
This 3 year prison sentence for Lynndie England bugs me. Oh sure, she’s a creepy little troll, and she probably does deserve some prison time. But just because she was in those pictures doesn’t make her the ONLY person who needs to be convicted. She’s taking one for the team, and we need to know who the “team” was.
When those pictures broke, the explanation of those involved was that it was a “psi-ops” mission. They weren’t being cruel for fun- supposedly. They wanted to take pictures of enemy combatants being humiliated in ways particularly disturbing to Muslim men. Those pictures were to be distributed in the areas the enemy was recruiting at. Lynndie was chosen because she was the smallest and weakest looking American woman available, and having her holding a leash-bound Muslim warrior naked on the floor drives home the point that even Muslim warriors will fall submissive to the tiniest American woman-if she’s an American soldier. Was it right to do that? I’d like to say no, but I’ve never been a soldier in an ill-conceived war being shot at daily. If I were in their shoes, a “psi-ops” mission like that could make sense. The things they did to them were disgusting and perverted, but none of it really was torture in the true sense. It’s still probably wrong, but in that situation, the line between right and wrong can blur and disappear altogether.
But if the court of American opinion determines that those responsible for the Abu-Ghraib photos deserve punishment, (more for the sake of saving political face than for justice) then we need to convict those who conceived the plan. It was either hatched by a team of simple grunts like Lynndie herself, or more likely by their commander or a group of commanders whoever that was. I feel bad that they’re making “Leash Girl” take the hit here, I mean she just had a baby. And since I try to avoid cultural train wreck news stories like this one I don’t know all the details but I believe the father of the baby was her superior officer. So he’s more responsible, yet he’s letting the powers that be have their way with the mother of his child? Can’t he be a man and step up to take some responsibility?
See, this is why I avoid these over sensationalized stories in the media. They always make me think about things that don’t matter, and lose faith in humanity at the same time- particularly American humanity. But I get hooked in somehow, and that adds to my psychosis and yours too. And we wonder why the rest of the world is so concerned.
(Sept. 25th, 2005) I’m a news junkie, and a weather junkie too. I like big weather that changes all the time. If the weather is the same day after day after frikkin’ day, I feel like I’m stuck in a bad movie like the “Ground Hog’s Day” film that Bill Murray was in. So every year about this time, I start to go nuts. It’s hot and sunny and humid, week after week, and that’s all I can remember.
But this year became the year of the killer hurricanes. When Rita passed the Florida Keys and entered the open Gulf, they projected her to slam right through central Texas. You can just imagine how excited I was! Part of me knew better, because it’s happened many times before. Tropical storms have a habit of suddenly changing course right before they get to us. Heck- it might even drench Round Rock, but South Austin will remain hot, dry and sunny. But this time it was a storm the size of Texas. In fact, at one point it was WIDER than Texas, more than 700 miles. It was the 3rd largest hurricane in recorded history, and it was on a crash course with the Live Music Capitol of the Woild. Surely nothing could stop this one, right?
So then it changes path. I knew it. But even if the eye smashes into Galveston and heads north after that, I mean jeez- this is a storm the size of Texas. At the very least we’ll get a lot of wind and rain, for a day or two. But alas, Rita has passed us by with nary a cloud to speak of. Not even a drop. But that’s okay, they’re still forecasting a drop in the temperature, some relief from this autumnal heat wave. Ahhh, sweet relief. Please give my poor and tired air conditioner- and my electric bill a break.
Nope. It’s been 2 days since that bitch Rita went sailing by, and today was 108 degrees. I didn’t hear that from my neighbor who exaggerated it from his neighbor- that was the official reading from the airport as reported by News 8 Austin. No, that frikkin whore Rita actually brought down some heat. How is that possible? How is it that a massive 700 mile wide hurricane smashes on land some 200 miles away, and you don’t see a drop?
Is it possible, that perhaps the news media played this one up a bit? Cashing in on a bit of post-Katrina hype? But there were satellite images and stuff, they didn’t make that up did they? I don’t know, I just feel ripped off. I had dreams of lost power, a few days off of work, and getting a free governmant handout of some sort. Oh well. It’s always this time of year I’m ready to pack up and move to Minnesota.
(Sept. 23rd, 2005) Dammit, it looks like I jinxed myself. I got so excited by the idea of Rita coming here to the central Texas area, and now it’s moving way off to the east. Looks like the hurricane will make landfall around Port Arthur and plow straight north after that. The best we might get is a typical blustery day and a 30% chance of rain. Dammit. But at least it’s still supposed to knock our autumnal heat wave from the low 100’s down to a chilly 89-92 degrees. Brrrr, break out the long sleeves, eh? But I guess that’s good news for Austin- mainly because of the ACL music festival and the Pecan Street festival.
I love the message this year’s hurricane season has sent across the world loud and clear: FEMA AND THE REST OF OUR GOVERNMENT IS TOTALLY USELESS!!! And that’s an important message to receive, because it’s true. So many Americans live under this false sense of security, the belief that somehow our government is stronger and more effective than other governments, and if something bad happens they’ll be there to save our asses- and finally now we see that it won’t happen! Ha ha!
Okay, if a massive catastrophe were to happen to Beverly Hills, or Westlake Hills, maybe they would have better odds, but their help would still suck. The reason for that is a simple one, it’s a thing that the conservatives rally around, and I personally also believe it’s true. Here it is: Businesses have to perform well and be efficient and effective, or they will go out of business. The government doesn’t have to be efficient or effective, because they can’t go out of business. If they need more money, they just raise taxes, or keep on playing the endless shell game with an endless array if departments, bureaucracy and red tape. That basic principle that makes the public and private sectors totally different can’t be ignored. Is it possible that for the last 230 years we’ve been cruising along on auto-pilot? Or maybe, there have been times where we would have been very well prepared for a string of disasters, but lately due to a war or two, all of our resources are in Iraq. Who knows, but it sure makes you think, right?
(Sept. 21st, 2005) Oh man, I’m so excited! A hurricane! A REAL genuine weather event right in our own back yards! I can’t wait!!! Come on Rita, show us what you got!
Okay, that’s a little insensitive. Lives will be lost and homes will be ruined. It might be worse than I think. I grew up back and fourth between Maryland’s Eastern Shore and Oklahoma City, so I’ve seen a few hurricanes, a hand full of tornadoes, and more all night long WRATH OF GOD thunderstorms than I can remember. The storms around here last 20 minutes. It cracks me up the way this town shuts down anytime the streets get damp. And in the wintertime, if a 32 degree breeze blows through town at 2:00am, they call that a “freeze” and genuine panic ensues. So now, finally something to get excited about and I can’t wait to see what happens next!
Back in Maryland, anytime a hurricane came close, there would be “hurricane parties” all over town. That’s the spirit there. People don’t get scared, they throw a party- hurricanes are a way of life. Surfers would come from miles around and be out there in 80 mph winds in anticipation of the perfect wave. After all, on the East Coast we needed a hurricane to get those California or Hawaii style ultimate waves crashing into the beach.
When we moved to Oklahoma in the early 70’s, my Dad had this metallic blue 1965 Galaxy 500. When the tornadoes came, we’d hop in the car and turn the AM radio on and go hunting for tornadoes. Our hearts were pounding as we searched the purple black and green skies for funnel clouds, flying down red dirt country roads at 70 mph. My Dad was from Maryland, he’d never seen a tornado and had no idea that they were actually dangerous. We never really caught one, but we’d get to the scene of the devastation moments after the fact. We saw the typical stuff, a dead cow with straw sticking out of one side like arrows. Trees and houses with two-by-fours protruding out of them. A house smashed to pieces while the houses on either side were untouched. And even after scenes of total destruction, my Dad never thought that trying to find one- with children- was remotely dangerous. But we did have fun, and that’s how people lived back then.
The only real weather event I’ve ever seen since moving to Austin in 1989 was the May 27th 1997 F5 tornado that hit Jarrell. That front spawned several tornadoes. It just so happened that me and a certain German girl I used to know were on our way up to OKC two days after that happened, so we pulled over to check out the scene. There was a housing development of maybe 20 or 30 houses that were completely gone. Nothing was left but concrete slabs. Even the St. Augustine grass had been vacuumed up with only mud remaining. We bumped into a state trooper that told us they